What is self-love? Is it doing you and having an indulgent moment now and again? Is it meditating, exercising and eating a clean diet? Or is it something more? Personally, I’ve learned it’s a culmination of these things but one aspect I was gravely missing was reflection on my path to self-love.
I consider myself a vibrant lover of life and am quite happy for the most part, but I unfortunately entered the new year with an unsightly rosacea rash across my chest because my definition of self-love had been to attain perfection in most areas of my life. Like most type-A millennials, I had wanted to ramp things up to start the new year “right” and so I cranked up my life to full speed in a variety of ways. I put in more hours at my new job to the point where I was dreaming about work, I began dating again, and I started meeting with a financial advisor about my real estate goals just to name a few. Lo and behold, my skin started screaming for my mind to slow down and I wound up in a dermatology chair with my first rosacea outbreak where the doctor coerced me to just restore and reset. I truly thought I was doing well in terms of creating balance in my life and leading a rather healthy lifestyle, but there was so much change happening in such a short period of time that I wasn’t being present enough to realize what I needed. This is so typical of people in business who often pride themselves on achievement and recognition, especially women (who are already twice as likely as men to have an anxiety disorder by the age of 50!), and I completely and utterly fell into this unsustainable, corporate burnout trap.
As part of my resetting process, with the close of 2017, I reflected on what a challenging yet rewarding year it had been. I had gone through peaks and valleys in my personal life and professional life. I had such low lows from my aunt’s death to hitting so many discouraging dead ends while trying to exit the financial sector, from ending a relationship to witnessing my sister undergo a brutal ACL surgery. However, what I realized is that there were so many beautiful aspects of these same situations. My aunt’s death brought my family closer in a way I had never experienced and gave me insight into true healing. My unexpected job offer showed me the power of patience for alignment of the right opportunity. The end of my romantic relationships led to a new height of self-discovery and taught me how to not overextend myself. I was also able to spend real quality time with my sister through her recovery and felt such an unconditional love and purpose by taking care of her. These events not only taught me that it’s how you react to them that make a difference, but that I had so much to offer or learn from almost every situation without expectation and that in itself is something to be proud of. Embracing my true feminine nature carried me through these issues with grace and I needed to rely on that instinct to keep pushing through the uphills without overwhelming myself.
Last year, I attended a Peace Village meditation retreat in upstate New York, called Seven Billion Acts of Goodness and its main message proposed that if all seven billion inhabitants of the world completed one act of goodness towards themselves every day, it would then create a domino effect of kind acts and perpetuate many more acts of goodness. With this thought, going forward, I am trying to implement a much more sustainable self-care routine by entering each day with a positive affirmation (I am peaceful, I am good, etc.) and remind myself throughout the day of that intention. This breaks up the rush of meetings, gym classes, and cumbersome commutes, and helps to truly reset within the course of my day.
The biggest takeaway for me that I would share, especially with young adult women, is to be gentle towards yourself on the most granular level. Trust your true feminine nature and avoid viewing the world as a place to conquer but rather a place that needs your healing. Don’t wait for validation through your boss, a hot new date, or snagging the deal for that sweet co-op. Recognize the tiny accomplishments every day, stay mindful (the Headspace app is great for meditation beginners), and live intentionally and with a grateful heart. If you don’t, you might risk your chance at self-love and even worse, also suffer from a bout of rosacea.
I consider myself a vibrant lover of life and am quite happy for the most part, but I unfortunately entered the new year with an unsightly rosacea rash across my chest because my definition of self-love had been to attain perfection in most areas of my life. Like most type-A millennials, I had wanted to ramp things up to start the new year “right” and so I cranked up my life to full speed in a variety of ways. I put in more hours at my new job to the point where I was dreaming about work, I began dating again, and I started meeting with a financial advisor about my real estate goals just to name a few. Lo and behold, my skin started screaming for my mind to slow down and I wound up in a dermatology chair with my first rosacea outbreak where the doctor coerced me to just restore and reset. I truly thought I was doing well in terms of creating balance in my life and leading a rather healthy lifestyle, but there was so much change happening in such a short period of time that I wasn’t being present enough to realize what I needed. This is so typical of people in business who often pride themselves on achievement and recognition, especially women (who are already twice as likely as men to have an anxiety disorder by the age of 50!), and I completely and utterly fell into this unsustainable, corporate burnout trap.
As part of my resetting process, with the close of 2017, I reflected on what a challenging yet rewarding year it had been. I had gone through peaks and valleys in my personal life and professional life. I had such low lows from my aunt’s death to hitting so many discouraging dead ends while trying to exit the financial sector, from ending a relationship to witnessing my sister undergo a brutal ACL surgery. However, what I realized is that there were so many beautiful aspects of these same situations. My aunt’s death brought my family closer in a way I had never experienced and gave me insight into true healing. My unexpected job offer showed me the power of patience for alignment of the right opportunity. The end of my romantic relationships led to a new height of self-discovery and taught me how to not overextend myself. I was also able to spend real quality time with my sister through her recovery and felt such an unconditional love and purpose by taking care of her. These events not only taught me that it’s how you react to them that make a difference, but that I had so much to offer or learn from almost every situation without expectation and that in itself is something to be proud of. Embracing my true feminine nature carried me through these issues with grace and I needed to rely on that instinct to keep pushing through the uphills without overwhelming myself.
Last year, I attended a Peace Village meditation retreat in upstate New York, called Seven Billion Acts of Goodness and its main message proposed that if all seven billion inhabitants of the world completed one act of goodness towards themselves every day, it would then create a domino effect of kind acts and perpetuate many more acts of goodness. With this thought, going forward, I am trying to implement a much more sustainable self-care routine by entering each day with a positive affirmation (I am peaceful, I am good, etc.) and remind myself throughout the day of that intention. This breaks up the rush of meetings, gym classes, and cumbersome commutes, and helps to truly reset within the course of my day.
The biggest takeaway for me that I would share, especially with young adult women, is to be gentle towards yourself on the most granular level. Trust your true feminine nature and avoid viewing the world as a place to conquer but rather a place that needs your healing. Don’t wait for validation through your boss, a hot new date, or snagging the deal for that sweet co-op. Recognize the tiny accomplishments every day, stay mindful (the Headspace app is great for meditation beginners), and live intentionally and with a grateful heart. If you don’t, you might risk your chance at self-love and even worse, also suffer from a bout of rosacea.