The stamp of an odd-sounding last name taught me about racism at the inception of grade school. Catcalling introduced me to sexism from my adolescent days many years ago. But what about ageism? I could argue that this stereotype peeked its face into parts of my life prior to now, but the effects of ageist constructs really began to take a toll recently as it seeped into my every day work life.
Around two years ago, I exited the demanding yet bubbly scene of business school with a cohort of like-minded young professionals. However, I was hard-hit last year by transitioning to the government sector where many employees are “lifers”, often lulled into the government sector until retirement. Most folks are middle aged so as a 26-year-old who looks 18 on most makeup-averse days, age serves as a glaring differentiator between me and my peers. I can only speak from my point of view and really am avoiding from making this piece out to be another millennial rant. However, only now learning about the evils of ageism, I have definitely witnessed first-hand, this emerging trend of higher ups who feel threatened by the young person in the room. I’ve been reprimanded at work for simply mentioning my mom’s 50th birthday being around the corner. People have even jeered that they felt like they were talking to their child because I just didn’t understand a musical or pop culture reference from “back in their day”. I’ve found this barrier built in a variety of ways, intentional and hostile and everything in between. It can mean being asked to do a lot of grunt work because you're simply "the analyst". It can mean feeling isolated from certain conversations. It could mean being the receipt of questions such as “oh, you are my son’s age – are you single?”. It could be relentlessly being called upon to “format the excel spreadsheet” so that it’s print-ready (when you’re wondering why does the document need to be printed anyway?) or volunteered to work late simply because you don’t have children. Ageism has crept up in the meeting room, at happy hour socials, and even those already awkward elevator rides; the worst part is that, sometimes, its perpetrators are not even aware of how disparaging this can be.
The American Management Association states that there are mainly three generations in the current workplace so it can be a hard path to navigate, find your place, and still thrive. However, the more I spoke about my experiences, the more I realized I found commonality with my similarly-aged peers, across many industries and it is so very possible to overcome these challenges. Some advice to pass along to you (yes, you in the hipster glasses at her open-concept office and you in the corporate business suit alike) are found below. My lovely friend and Co-Founder of the L.I.T. Network., Dipabali Chowdhury [DC] and I [JC] share some lessons that have helped us to combat ageism thus far:
In staying in the same vein as with the rest of Wellspring in promoting self-reflection, I do attribute some of my fear of speaking up to hailing from Caribbean descent where the concept of filial piety is a cultural norm. Greeting the elderly first at a family event is a common practice and not speaking out of turn is custom. However, I still struggle with internal resistance when lifting and shifting those ideals to a professional work environment where my “higher-ups” also treat age as a guaranteed benefactor of respect so being aware of these subconscious limitations have been really helpful. It may be easier to start engaging with parents, aunts, uncles, etc, and having an actual adult-to-adult conversation with them, perhaps even respectfully challenging some of their ideals to practice this concept. I recall a mentor alluding to bench-marking this phase in her life by calling her dad by his first name, only in her mind, to begin refocusing her role as a child in their relationship.
My opinion stands that we should not just blindly support young people. However, in this political and social climate, a baseline of respect grows rarer and rarer and it’s imperative we bring respect back to the mindful forefront of how we interact with our fellow human beings, especially those we spend 40-plus hours per week with. Yes, many millennials have been raised with privilege and had the luxury of western world niceties, but we collectively can do better than to walk on these legs of entitlement. There are also many of us who were not brought up in middle/middle-upper/upper class society and may compensate with overachievement, a strong appetite for recognition, and thus a collective amnesia of the work that has been done before us because we simply were not here to witness it.
Let's strive to be an intentional generation.
PS - I’d love to hear what you’ve done or would like to do at your workplace to fire up intergenerational work culture so leave it here! Also, check out the LIT Network, a network geared for young professional women of color (IG @litnetworknyc).
Around two years ago, I exited the demanding yet bubbly scene of business school with a cohort of like-minded young professionals. However, I was hard-hit last year by transitioning to the government sector where many employees are “lifers”, often lulled into the government sector until retirement. Most folks are middle aged so as a 26-year-old who looks 18 on most makeup-averse days, age serves as a glaring differentiator between me and my peers. I can only speak from my point of view and really am avoiding from making this piece out to be another millennial rant. However, only now learning about the evils of ageism, I have definitely witnessed first-hand, this emerging trend of higher ups who feel threatened by the young person in the room. I’ve been reprimanded at work for simply mentioning my mom’s 50th birthday being around the corner. People have even jeered that they felt like they were talking to their child because I just didn’t understand a musical or pop culture reference from “back in their day”. I’ve found this barrier built in a variety of ways, intentional and hostile and everything in between. It can mean being asked to do a lot of grunt work because you're simply "the analyst". It can mean feeling isolated from certain conversations. It could mean being the receipt of questions such as “oh, you are my son’s age – are you single?”. It could be relentlessly being called upon to “format the excel spreadsheet” so that it’s print-ready (when you’re wondering why does the document need to be printed anyway?) or volunteered to work late simply because you don’t have children. Ageism has crept up in the meeting room, at happy hour socials, and even those already awkward elevator rides; the worst part is that, sometimes, its perpetrators are not even aware of how disparaging this can be.
The American Management Association states that there are mainly three generations in the current workplace so it can be a hard path to navigate, find your place, and still thrive. However, the more I spoke about my experiences, the more I realized I found commonality with my similarly-aged peers, across many industries and it is so very possible to overcome these challenges. Some advice to pass along to you (yes, you in the hipster glasses at her open-concept office and you in the corporate business suit alike) are found below. My lovely friend and Co-Founder of the L.I.T. Network., Dipabali Chowdhury [DC] and I [JC] share some lessons that have helped us to combat ageism thus far:
- [JC] Observe before you act – Millennials have a tendency to exhibit know-it-all behavior. Instead of assuming you already know why things are done a certain way, observe and listen to those who’ve been doing this for years so you can fully absorb the current processes before suggesting enhancements. You can circle back with some humble opinions and suggestions. You will find this approach is much more well-received and doesn't detract from the merit of the antiquated process.
- [DC] Manage expectations: If you are entering a traditional field like banking or government, know that you will probably be one of the youngest members of your team. Don't go into your role thinking you can change the culture overnight. Old habits take a long time to change. Put your pride aside. Manage your expectations of the workplace but also don't underestimate your abilities. As young professionals, we are super ambitious to make things more efficient. However, if you're in a traditional bureaucratic workplace, you may want to choose wisely where you spend your energy. Changing an institutional system may not be the best battle to fight. Rather, think about the projects you're working on. Is there a process that can be improved? Is there a more innovative way to approach a problem you're trying to solve? Allow yourself to make change happen on a smaller scale.
- [JC] Ask for feedback – Interestingly enough, effective performance management and feedback are quite new concepts to the work environment so your manager may not feel like feedback is necessary. My manager not only hails from Gen X, but he has an extremely hands-off management style. Already having little insight into what I do, I’ve had to take the initiative to setup one-on-ones with him or garner up the courage to walk into his office for things I want more regularly than a formalized one-on-one check-in or performance review. “Hey, how am I doing?” are literally words that have left my mouth and it’s worked so far.
- [DC] Own your experiences: Although you may be the youngest on your team, age and experiences are not correlated. Remember your personal experiences also help shape your wisdom. If you were the first in your family to go to college or had to be the head of your household at a young age, you’ve learned how to be resilient. You’ve persevered and know how to handle a crisis. Resilience is hard to teach and it also does not come with age. Make sure you are owning all of your experiences, not just your professional ones.
- [JC] Engage your company in a “millennial” way – We were blessed to be born into this age of technology and innovation so use what comes naturally to you to your advantage. Consider reinvigorating life into your company culture by starting up an organic mentoring program or try using data or graphics to engage a younger audience. My colleague, a graduate intern from Columbia’s MBA program, constantly wows me with his knowledge of other organizational behavior methods so I was pleasantly surprised by his idea of making our workplace better: starting a book club! This is an insanely simple and understated way of connecting people across generations. Get creative; you got this!
- [DC] Build Your Brand: Building your brand is pivotal in establishing your credibility. Many young professionals get labeled as “lazy” or entitled.” To avoid these labels, make sure you are consistently delivering on your promise and allow your work to speak for itself. In this process, build a team of professionals who can vouch for you and your work. Lastly, understand your value and know your worth. Your value isn’t based on who you work for or your position at a job. It’s based on what you’re able to bring to the table.
In staying in the same vein as with the rest of Wellspring in promoting self-reflection, I do attribute some of my fear of speaking up to hailing from Caribbean descent where the concept of filial piety is a cultural norm. Greeting the elderly first at a family event is a common practice and not speaking out of turn is custom. However, I still struggle with internal resistance when lifting and shifting those ideals to a professional work environment where my “higher-ups” also treat age as a guaranteed benefactor of respect so being aware of these subconscious limitations have been really helpful. It may be easier to start engaging with parents, aunts, uncles, etc, and having an actual adult-to-adult conversation with them, perhaps even respectfully challenging some of their ideals to practice this concept. I recall a mentor alluding to bench-marking this phase in her life by calling her dad by his first name, only in her mind, to begin refocusing her role as a child in their relationship.
My opinion stands that we should not just blindly support young people. However, in this political and social climate, a baseline of respect grows rarer and rarer and it’s imperative we bring respect back to the mindful forefront of how we interact with our fellow human beings, especially those we spend 40-plus hours per week with. Yes, many millennials have been raised with privilege and had the luxury of western world niceties, but we collectively can do better than to walk on these legs of entitlement. There are also many of us who were not brought up in middle/middle-upper/upper class society and may compensate with overachievement, a strong appetite for recognition, and thus a collective amnesia of the work that has been done before us because we simply were not here to witness it.
Let's strive to be an intentional generation.
PS - I’d love to hear what you’ve done or would like to do at your workplace to fire up intergenerational work culture so leave it here! Also, check out the LIT Network, a network geared for young professional women of color (IG @litnetworknyc).